Ready for the call to ‘play ball?’

Hooray! Major League Baseball arrives early this year. Traditional Opening Day is Friday, March 28, the earliest in the “modern era” of the game, which dates back to 1900…when the tracking of player statistics began in earnest.

There have been some “international openers” to occur earlier in past years, and 2019 is no exception, as the Oakland Athletics will play the Seattle Mariners on March 20 and 21 in Tokyo, Japan.

All 30 major league teams are scheduled to play on March 28, and that’s when the fun begins.

Rogers Hornsby of Winters, Texas, a 1942 Hall of Famer, would have loved the early start date. “People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring,” he said.

Hornsby is considered to be the greatest right-handed hitter in baseball history. His .358 lifetime mark for 23 big league campaigns is the highest ever for right-handed batters. He won seven National League batting titles.

On the other side of the plate, the best left-handed hitter of all time was Ty Cobb of Narrows, Ga. He played for 24 seasons in the American League, mostly with the Detroit Tigers, posting a lifetime batting average of .367. Cobb led the league in hitting 12 times. Cobb was one of six players selected in the inaugural class for the Hall of Fame in 1936.

Cobb said: “Baseball is a red-blooded sport for red-blooded men. It’s no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out. It’s a struggle for supremacy, a survival of the fittest.”

Another 23-year performer and Hall of Famer from the class of 1989 is Carl Yastrzemski of Bridgehampton, N.Y. He played exclusively with the Boston Red Sox in the American League. Yastrzemski was first American Leaguer to record 3,000 hits and hit 400 home runs. He finished his career with 3,419 hits, eighth most all-time.

Like Hornsby and Cobb, Yastrzemski believed baseball was his life, having said: “I think about baseball when I wake up in the morning. I think about it all day, and I dream about it at night. The only time I don’t think about it is when I’m playing it.”

From the fan’s perspective, consider this assessment by Mary Schmich, a syndicated columnist with the Chicago Tribune: “Opening day. All you have to do is say the words…and you feel the shutters thrown wide, the room air out, the light pour in. In baseball, no other day is so pure with possibility. No scores yet, no losses, no blame or disappointment.”

Every baseball player dreams of winning a World Series ring, but only one man in the history of Major League Baseball has earned 10 rings.

He was Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra of St. Louis, Mo. He played for 19 seasons, all in New York. He spent 18 years with the Yankees in the American League, and his final season as manager and part-time player was with the Mets in the National League.

One of baseball’s greatest catchers, Yogi Berra entered the Hall of Fame in 1972, as a three-time American League Most Valuable Player Award winner, with a .285 career batting average.

About the nickname: A group of boys who played American Legion baseball together in St. Louis in 1942 went to a summer afternoon movie, and the travelogue was about India, showing a yogi (one who practices yoga). Jack Maguire told his friend, Lawrence, “the guy on the screen looks like you; I’m going to start calling you ‘Yogi.’”

As a member of the Yankees, Berra helped managers Buddy Harris win the World Series in 1947 and Ralph Houck win a pair in 1961 and 1962. In between was the Casey Stengel era (a 12-year span). With Stengel at the helm, the Yankees won 10 American League championships and seven World Series titles. Those Yankee teams were loved by their fans…but hated by everyone else, especially people who rooted for Boston, Cleveland and Detroit.

Stengel hailed from Kansas City, Mo., so he and Berra had “statehood” in common. Stengel and Berra became a comedy routine, although they didn’t know it at the time. Stengel set the stage when he said baseball is a pretty simple game.” Dagnabbit, he’s right.

“There are just three things that can happen: You can win, you can lose or you can get rained out.”

So, at first, there was “Stengelese.” It was followed by “Yogi-isms,” stated Stan Silliman, an American sports humorist, who wrote a column in 2010 that was a “Casey v. Yogi” faceoff.

In spring training, Stengel would say: “All right, everybody line up alphabetically according to your height.” Yogi countered: “Pair ‘em up in threes.”

Stengel said: “Managing is getting paid for home runs someone else hits.” Berra said: “He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”

Stengel said: “When you are younger, you get blamed for crimes you never committed; when you’re older, you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.”

Berra said: “Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.”

Yogi was also an economics guru: “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”

Amen to that…especially at the concession stand. But what the heck: “Play ball.”

New generation introduced to ‘John Deere Green’

Chip Gaines, the entrepreneurial wizard of Waco, Texas, recently flipped the switch to introduce a new generation of romantics to the classic country music love song “John Deere Green,” a relic from 1993.

On Valentine’s Day 2019, Gaines unveiled artwork on the Waco silos, professing his love for wife Joanna. There was a large heart followed by “an apostrophe and the letter ‘s’,” connecting the words Chip and Jo. Clearly, the social media-era message was “Chip loves Jo.”

They do appear to be true lovebirds, raising five children…without a television. Dagnabbit!

Chip and Joanna Gaines form an incomparable All-American couple as the brawn and brains behind the HGTV’s popular “Fixer Upper” show, which brought the network fame and fortune. At the same time, the Gaines’ have put their hometown in the international spotlight, providing a boost to Waco tourism and economic development for the city of about 250,000 people…who still cling to their rural heritage.

Chip Gaines appears to be cut out of the same cloth as Billy Bob, the daring beau of Charlene. Billy Bob is the fictional character who county artist Joe Diffie sang about when he recorded “John Deere Green” in November 1993.

Gaines’ Valentine’s Day 2019 message to Joanna was inspired by Billy Bob. In the song, he carried a big old bucket of paint one night up to the top of the town water tower.

Billy Bob was crazy in love with his high school honey Charlene. For he:

Stood on the rail and painted a 10-foot heart, in John Deere Green.

He wrote “Billy Bob loves Charlene” in letters 3-foot high,

And the whole town said that he should have used red.

But it looked good to Charlene, in John Deere Green.

Officially, the correct greenness of “John Deere” green is PMS 364 C. The color formula is “65 cyan, 0 magenta, 100 yellow and 42 black.” Did you know the world’s palette of ink colors can be made by jiggling the blends of just four “primary colors?”

It’s all part of the Pantone Matching System (PMS) that has been adopted by the printing industry as the “standardized color reproduction system.”

David Himmel, an author and humorist living in Chicago, firmly believes “John Deere Green,” “is the greatest country song ever.” On his blog, Literate Ape, Himmel proclaimed: “Pantone 364 C is the color of love.”

Himmel and his wife, Katie, enjoy discovering Midwestern taverns that still have working jukeboxes. On a date in 2017, Katie made the music selections, and Himmel was stunned by the sound of “John Deere Green” – first time he had ever heard it.

“It was the most incredible early-nineties country song I’d ever heard…penned by country songwriter extraordinaire Dennis Linde, who also wrote ‘Burning Love’ for Elvis Presley and ‘Goodbye Earl’ for the Dixie Chicks.”

Linde died in 2006 at the age of 63, but during his career, more than 250 of his songs were recorded by various artists over a 45-year period.

In Himmel’s mind, “John Deere Green” covers all the bases; it has “everything a country song needs to shine – a small town, teenagers in love, mischief, nostalgia and tractors or trucks.”

The song goes on to share that Billy Bob and Charlene settled down together on 80 acres “to raise sweet corn, kids and tomatoes.” From their front yard, on a clear day, that water tower is visible, and so are the words “Billy Bob loves Charlene in John Deere Green.”

Himmel wrote: “It’s a sweet story. It makes me think fondly of my wife’s origins and my in-laws. Katie’s parents met in high school, quickly fell in love, got married and had four kids. They live in the same town where they grew up and in the house where her dad was raised. It is…a magnificent and simple American love story for the ages.”

Back in Waco, Chip and Joanna Gaines are totally invested. Journalist Taffy Brodesser-Akner interviewed them for a recent article in Texas Monthly magazine. She reported:

“They opened Magnolia Market at the Silos in October 2015. The pair of 120-foot tall silos, along with a 20,000-square-foot barn, were part of the old Brazos Valley Cotton Oil Mill, which began operation in 1910, processing cottonseed to make all kinds of byproducts, including vegetable shortening, margarine and salad oil.

Eventually, business soured; the facility stood abandoned since the 1990s. Chip and Joanna Gaines purchased the property in 2014, with “a vision to restore and repurpose the historic site,” to spur development of Waco as “a cultural and heritage destination.”

The silos had weathered and were regarded by most as “an ugly eyesore and a blight on the downtown area.” Paint them, please, city officials begged. Joanna said no: “They’re beautiful the way they are.”

Carla Pendergraft of the Waco tourism office replied to Brodesser-Akner: “I think that’s what Joanna does. She makes things wanted that were once unwanted.”

Leave it to Chip to sneak in through the backdoor and apply paint on one of the silos – or hire it done – as his Valentine’s Day affirmation of love…in a color he swears is “John Deere Green.”

And like Charlene, Joanne declared the silos are now even more beautiful the way they are now.

Does N.C. need an official fried chicken festival?

 North Carolina needs a new state festival to honor “fried chicken,” according to Representative Elmer Floyd, D-Fayetteville.

He introduced House Bill 256 on March 5, asking the General Assembly to adopt the yet-to-be-created Fayetteville Fried Chicken Festival as the “Official Fried Chicken Festival of the State of North Carolina.”

Poppycock. The Fayetteville Fried Chicken Festival is imaginary. Is it a case of “Which came first, the chicken or the egg or the chicken festival?” Dagnabbit, y’all.

The start date for the Fayetteville Fried Chicken Festival in the City of Fayetteville would be the third weekend of May in 2021, and it would be held “annually thereafter,” Rep. Floyd noted.

He introduced a similar bill two years ago, and Paul Woolverton, a staff writer at the Fayetteville Observer, cracked open the story before the festival plan had a chance to hatch on its own.

Woolverton reported that the idea originated with Bill McMillan of the Fayetteville Area Hospitality Association.

Rep. Floyd’s bill references “fast facts” from the North Carolina Poultry Federation (NCPF), based in Raleigh, to assert that the poultry industry is a big deal in North Carolina. No question.

The poultry industry’s economic impact in the state is reported to be more than $36.6 billion a year, accounting for approximately 127,000 jobs for North Carolinians.

Poultry products combine to form North Carolina’s leading agricultural commodity. Hogs are in second place. Nationally, North Carolina ranks third in total poultry production. (It’s always a toss-up, but typically, Georgia ranks first with Arkansas second, reports Bob Ford, executive director of the NCPF.)

The federation says the average American consumes 90 pounds of chicken, 17 pounds of turkey and 240 eggs per year. Americans eat chicken more than any other meat, and as Rep. Floyd points out “one of the best-known poultry dishes is fried chicken, which is a common staple in many Southern households.”

Perhaps it is right and good to applaud poultry, especially on National Poultry Day – Tuesday, March 19. (It is right and good to “Eat Mor Chikin,” so say the Chick-fil-A cows.)

However, there already are three up-and-running real annual festivals in North Carolina that pay homage to poultry. Is Rep. Floyd’s bill fowl play?

One. The original festival of this ilk is the North Carolina Poultry Jubilee in Rose Hill, a small town in Duplin County. Its roots date back to 1963 when Dennis Ramsey of Ramsey Feed Co. commissioned the construction of the “World’s Largest Frying Pan”…that really works…as a tribute to the importance of the poultry industry.

The Rose Hill cast iron frying pan measures 15 feet in diameter and weighs 2 tons. It holds 200 gallons of cooking oil and can fry 365 chickens at a time. The giant, propane-fueled frying pan has a 6-foot handle sticking out to one side, for authenticity’s sake…not that anyone could ever lift the dad-gum thing.

When it’s time to cook, Rose Hill’s volunteer firefighters are up early in the morning to man their stations, constantly stirring with their pitchforks.

The two-day jubilee occurs this year on Nov. 1 and 2. The jubilee committee operates under the wing of the Rose Hill Chamber of Commerce.

Chamber leader Mandy James describes opening day: “By mid-morning the whole town smells like fried chicken, and by 11 a.m. that first batch of golden, crunchy, tender, moist, and oh so delicious Jubilee Fried Chicken is just right and ready to sink your teeth into.”

Duplin County Tourism promotes pairing fried chicken with wines made from the region’s famous muscadine grape vineyards. Come to Duplin to “Uncork. Unwind. Unplug.”

Two. The North Carolina Turkey Festival was created in the community of Raeford in Hoke County in the mid-1980s. The event is now known as the NC Fall Festival, but the focal point continues to pay tribute to the value of turkey production in the area. The state turkey cooking contest is the centerpiece of the annual celebration that occurs in September.

Three. In Wayne County, the community of Goldsboro’s “Beak Week” has been transfigured into the North Carolina Poultry Festival. This year’s event is Saturday, Sept. 7, in downtown Goldsboro. The festival showcases local artisans, vendors and “all the chicken and turkey you can eat.” Patrons flock to the Food Cluck Rodeo.

The organizing committee is a diverse private-public partnership, aligned under the umbrella of “Visit Goldsboro. Be More. Do More. Seymour.” The festival itself is fully aligned with marketing game plan to leverage the community’s assets of “4 Ps: pigs, pickles, planes and poultry.”

Regarding the future of H.B. 256, there were a lot of “peeps and tweets” among the legislators. Perhaps the most memorable comment came from Rep. Grier Martin, D-Raleigh, who said: “Not sure this bill is going anywhere. Best not count chickens before they hatch.”