Join campaign to stomp out ‘mentee’ as a word

Among the favorite words we love to hate is “mentee.”

The origin goes back to ancient times. “Mentor” pops to life out of Greek mythology. Mentor was a loyal friend and adviser to Odysseus, King of Ithaca. Mentor helped raise Odysseus’ son, Telemachus, while Odysseus was away fighting the Trojan War.

Mentor became Telemachus’ teacher, coach and counselor, building a relationship based on affection and trust. Today, mentoring today is the process by which one guides others.

You’ve got to appreciate the humor of mentor-less Megan Flanagan of Minneapolis, Minn., who is a certified personal trainer, nutrition coach, distance runner and blogger via MegInspire Fitness. She said she started hearing the word “mentor” while in college – mentor this, mentor that…“you don’t have a mentor? EVERYONE needs a mentor.”

“Excuse me? Why do I need one? Where do I get one?”

“While I’ve had plenty of inspiring role models, coaches, teachers, bosses and babysitters, I have never referred to or viewed any of them as a mentor,” Flanagan said. “They’ve just been… well, role models. Or whatever their title was at the time.”

Alas, Flanagan had no one to ever meet up with for coffee and deep life talks…no one to call her a “mentee.” Dagnabbit it all: Deprived of a mentor, how could she possibly amount to anything as a human being?

“Perhaps it’s time I stop doing things my own way and embark on the quest for mentorship,” she said. “Maybe there’s a mentor out there for me somewhere….”

Why is it that the term “mentee” strikes me as unflattering and a tad condescending. “Trainee,” “pupil” and “learner” are other potential word choices, depending on the situation.

“Protégé” is another option, but it’s too narrow, according to Erin Brenner, co-owner and publisher of copyediting.com. She wrote: “Although related, the two words (mentee and protégé) do not mean the same thing. A protégé is someone who is sponsored and promoted by a person who is more experienced and influential. The relationship tends to be long term, with the pair working closely together or frequently checking in with each other.”

Mentoring is more advisory and generally of a shorter duration, Brenner said.

There’s a lot of mentoring occurring in academia, and some professors are excellent mentors. Others fall into the category of “toxic mentors.”

Dr. Scott E. Porter, an orthopedic oncologist with Greenville (S.C.) Health System, wrote an essay about medical school mentoring for Orthopedics Today magazine. He said: “Mentoring can be thought of as the formal transfer of life skills, career skills and people skills from a more knowledgeable person to someone who is typically younger and less knowledgeable. Some would say it is an invaluable part of one’s professional maturation.”

“A problem in many mentoring programs is the presence, to some degree, of a forced relationship between the parties involved,” Dr. Porter noted. “Often, mentoring relationships are begun sight unseen…and conducted to simply check a box on a form.”

“There is a paucity of programs that teach one how to mentor. Clearly, some individuals have the innate ability to be an excellent mentor and others do not,” Dr. Porter said.

He said that “generational differences” play a factor in that the attending physicians who may be in the best position to give of themselves may also be ill-equipped to easily relate to millennials.”

“Mentoree” may be a better choice to define the person being mentored, and it is widely accepted as the word used in Australia.

Mentoree is also the preferred term used at Leadership Design Group, a “whole life mentoring” consulting firm based in Parker, Colo., near Denver, reported Tim Murphy, whose job title there is CE/EO: Chief Excellence/Executive Officer.

Can we improve on “mentoree?” Here’s a vote for “stagiaire.” Stagiaire is a nice French word that is used to identify “an amateur cyclist temporarily riding for a professional team.” He or she gains experience by working with the elite riders. Sounds like a form of mentoring to me.

Stagiaire. Let’s run that by Megan Flanagan; I’ll bet the athlete in her wouldn’t mind being called a stagiaire one bit.