O. D. Calhoun put Spruce Pine on the radio

In the North Carolina mountains, there’s a name that echoes eternally – O’Barron Delaney Calhoun of Spruce Pine. 

Most folks called him O. D. Calhoun, but he was “Cal” to his closest friends. Mr. Calhoun lived from 1910-2016. He died at the age of 106 years, 10 months and 4 days. 

O. D. was the founding editor of the weekly newspaper now named the Mitchell News-Journal in Spruce Pine. 

Above all else, O. D. was known as a promoter. He once served as public relations manager for what is now the International Festivals & Events Association and helped establish the Rhododendron Festival in Bakersville, N.C., the Dogwood Festival in Statesville, N.C., and the Blueberry Festival in Elizabethton, Tenn. 

O. D. provided marketing and advertising counsel for many mountain tourist attractions. Among them are: Blowing Rock; the Blue Ridge Parkway; Grandfather Mountain; the Horn in the West outdoor drama; Linville Caverns; Mystery Hill; and Tweetsie Railroad. 

The Calhouns owned and operated a small chain of local theaters in several towns throughout western North Carolina. One was The Carolina Theatre in Spruce Pine. 

In Spruce Pine, O. D. and his partner, J. Myron Houston, brought in a live local radio broadcast – the Carolina Barn Dance in 1949. The theater would be packed on Friday nights, and the show was carried by the Liberty Broadcasting System to 512 radio stations across the country. 

Performers included Patsy Cline, Bill Monroe, Hank Snow, Sonny James, Kitty Wells, Chet Atkins, Tennessee Ernie Ford and Scotty and Lulu Belle Wiseman. The barn dance and radio show continued through 1954. 

O. D. welcomes the Wisemans to the stage in Spruce Pine

(J. Myron was the father of Gloria Houston, who wrote the classic children’s story, “The Year of the Perfect Christmas Tree,” about growing up in Spruce Pine. Total sales since 1988 are approaching 4 million copies.) 

The world’s best professional golfers have a connection to Spruce Pine as well. 

Spruce Pine “white sand” fills all 44 bunkers at Augusta (Ga.) National Golf Club, home of the Masters, one of the four major tournaments on the men’s PGA (Professional Golf Association) tour.

Pro golfer Tiger Woods

Golf photographer Sam Greenwood of Getty Images says that each Augusta National sand trap is “majestic and hazardous in its own right. The glistening sands look impossibly white, radiating in such a way that only nature could produce something so pristine.” 

“It’s called Spruce Pine sand, named for the mining district in western North Carolina,” but “it’s actually quartz, and is so pure that it prevents golf balls from burrowing into devious lies,” Greenwood said. 

“The sand has filled these bunkers since 1975, ever since Augusta National co-founder Clifford Roberts was moved by its texture and how it contrasted beautifully with the emerald fairways and shimmering ponds of Augusta National,” Greenwood added. 

Sam Farmer of the Los Angeles Times wrote: “Roberts had a seasonal home at Grandfather Golf & Country Club, and he knew that nearby Linville Golf Club was using Spruce Pine sand. 

Claude Greene, who owned Spruce Pine’s Chevrolet-Oldsmobile dealership and had mining interests, put the deal together with help from Bill Norris of Feldspar Trucking. 

They calculated that 13 railroad boxcars of quartz were needed to fill the Augusta bunkers. 

Greene and Norris refused payment for either the sand or transporting it,” Farmer said. Otherwise, since the fine quartz sand was a byproduct of the mining process, “Greene’s company would have had to dig holes to bury it.”

Are you ready for arrival of astrotourists?

Buckle up everybody…the next frontier for Carteret County, N.C., may well be “astrotourism.” However, liftoff is no longer a requirement. 

Now, one can become an astrotourist while keeping his or her feet planted firmly on the ground at all times. 

The late Dr. Eduardo Fayos-Solà of Valencia, Spain, who was considered a world pioneer in the field of tourism education, helped transform the concept of “astrotourism.” 

The term has moved beyond the dictionary definition of “activities by tourists traveling into space for recreation.” It now generally refers to “tourism that the uses the natural resource of unpolluted night skies for astronomical, cultural or environmental activities,” Dr. Fayos-Solà said. 

His colleague Cipriano Marín of the Spanish Canary Islands said: “Astrotourism opens new opportunities of bridging science and tourism, motivating alliances for starry nights, science, culture and nature.” 

Editors of the Encyclopedia of Tourism, published by Springer International in Switzerland, note that “the night sky has played a key role in the development of civilizations….”

 

Indeed. The U.S. National Parks Service (NPS) reports: “The popularity of stargazing programs, night walks, full moon hikes and…(the like) have become an economic resource. Visitor facilities in communities surrounding national parks are finding that stargazing activities draw more tourists and tend to increase the length of stay and the corresponding economic benefit to those communities.” 

“The economic value of night skies should come as no surprise,” the NPS noted. Adam Smith of Edinburgh, Scotland, once wrote: “Of all the phenomena of nature, the celestial appearances are, by the greatness and beauty, the most universal objects of the curiosity of mankind.” 

Smith, who lived from 1723-90, was “a towering figure in the history of economic thought.” Smith was a major proponent of laissez-faire economic policies. He believed that “free markets regulate themselves by means of competition, supply and demand and self-interest.” 

“In some areas of the United States, such as the Colorado Plateau of the southwestern United States, astrotourism is more than an idea, it is a current economic driver,” the NPS said. 

Bring it on to Carteret County. The first step in building support is to build awareness. Here goes: 

Meet Valerie Stimac, who is the author of “Dark Skies: A Practical Guide to Astrotourism.” She grew up in Alaska and was inspired by frequent observations of the northern lights. Also known as the aurora borealis, the northern lights are a spectacular natural light show visible at certain times of the year in the northern hemisphere, mainly December-March. 

Valerie Stimac

“Astrotourism might mean going stargazing in a new place with great dark skies, traveling to see the northern lights or an eclipse, or even going to watch a rocket launch,” Stimac said. “If it’s something you’re interested in trying, an easy overnight or weekend trip is a good way to learn more about astronomy and decide if this kind of travel is what you really love to do. And don’t forget to bundle up as it’s almost always chilly at night when stargazing.” 

Cape Lookout National Seashore in Carteret County would be the perfect place for an International Dark Sky Park. The Crystal Coast Stargazers Club members totally agree. 

To learn about the potential economic impact of astrotourism, we need to review the findings of Professors David Mitchell and Terrel Gallaway of Missouri State University. They have studied dark skies over the Colorado Plateau, a region roughly centered on the “Four Corners” – the quadripoint where the states of Arizona, Utah, Colorado and New Mexico meet. (To come.)

St. Nick visits Harkers Island in the ‘loon light’

Many people wrote poetry for The Mailboat newsletter from 1990-92, including Jerry Barton of Harkers Island, N.C. He was best known as an electronics manufacturer who specialized in fish scopes, sextants and other “electronic gadgetry.” 

But Jerry Barton also had a way with words. Here’s his “only slightly altered” version of this famous “Down East” dialect Christmas poem, which is preserved in the archives at the Core Sound Waterfowl Museum & Heritage Center on Harkers Island.

 

Twas the night a’fore Christmas and bright shone the moon, the e only thing stirring was a pot of stewed loon.

The windows were open to air out the place, as for lurking Game Wardens, there was nary a trace.

The roar of an outboard fell on my ear, to get caught with a loon quite filled me with fear. 

I looked out the window, what frightened me more were two running lights headin’ right for my shore. 

“Youngerns,” said I, “we’re in a heck of a scrape,” the best thing for me is to plan my escape. 

Who comes to my doorstep from out of the sea? With my pot full of loon, I am all set to flee. 

The engine choked off; there was a yell and a thump, it was jolly old Santa a’ground on a lump. 

He pulled on his waders and stepped off his boat, Next thing he knew, the water’s up to his throat. 

He muttered and grumbled, and I swear that he swore, as he staggered and stumbled out onto the shore.

His sack full of goodies and gifts for our fun was loaded with water and weighed near a ton. 

He came toward my cottage to leave off the presents And trod on a nest with two sleeping pheasants. 

They flew from their nest with a thunder of wings, he fell on his rump and broke half of his things. 

He got to his feet and dragging his sack, he limped to the landing, not looking back. 

He sputtered and fussed on the way to his skiff, He hardly could board it ’cause he was so stiff. 

He cranked on his engine till blue in the face. When it got started, off he did race. 

The last thing a heard as he hove out of sight, “hain’t I bin punished and mommicked this night!” 

I wish he had stayed and not left so soon, for I’d a fix him some dodgers and a mess-a stewed loon.

Rudolph stands tall as ‘seasonal icon’

In many American households, Orvon Grover “Gene” Autry ranks right up there as a “Father Christmas” figure. 

Nicknamed the “singing cowboy,” Autry became famous for ushering in the holiday season with happy, feel-good songs that children and adults could enjoy…and sing along. 

Autry’s first yuletide hit, “Here Comes Santa Claus,” was released in 1947. Autry recorded “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” in 1949 and “Frosty the Snowman” in 1950. 

Now, some 70 years later, these happy holiday tunes are still receiving air-time on American radio stations. 

Rudolph’s story was originally written in verse by Robert L. May for the Montgomery Ward chain of department stores in 1939. 

Writing for History.com, Christopher Klein said the company had tasked May, a 34-year-old advertising copywriter in its Chicago headquarters, to write a Christmas-themed children’s story with an animal as the central character. 

That was easy enough; May’s 4-year-old daughter, Barbara, “loved visiting the reindeer” at Chicago’s Lincoln Park Zoo. 

He came up with the idea of a “misfit reindeer ostracized because of his luminescent nose who used his physical abnormality to guide Santa’s sleigh and save Christmas. Seeking an alliterative name, May scribbled possibilities on a scrap of paper – Rollo, Reginald, Rodney and Romeo were among the choices – before circling his favorite. Rudolph.” 

“Christian Andersen’s fairy tale ‘The Ugly Duckling’ inspired the storyline,” Klein wrote, “as did May’s own childhood when he endured taunts from schoolmates for being small and shy.” 

May once said: “Rudolph and I were somewhat alike. Frail, poorly coordinated, I was never asked to join the school teams.” 

May recruited an associate in the company’s art department, Denver Gillen, to illustrate the story. 

Klein said: “Montgomery Ward had high hopes for its new 32-page, rhyming booklet, a free gift to children visiting any of the department store’s 620 locations.” Rudolph was an instant, smash success. 

In 1947, Klein reported that Montgomery Ward’s CEO Sewell Avery, “stirred either by the holiday spirit or belief that the story had maxed out its revenue-making potential, signed the copyright for ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ over to May.” 

In 1949, the legendary songwriter Johnny Marks (May’s brother-in-law) set Rudolph’s story to music. After Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore reportedly turned down the opportunity to record the song, it fell into the lap of Gene Autry. 

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is “a piece of modern folklore and a metaphor for overcoming obstacles, embracing differences and recognizing everyone’s unique potential,” Klein commented.

A bit of reindeer trivia. Everyone agrees that the first six reindeer named in the song are Dancer, Dasher, Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid. Originally, the last two reindeer mentioned were Dunder and Blixem (Dutch words for “thunder and lightning”). Now-a-days, they are referred to Donner and Blitzen. 

Two Scottish scientists upset the universe in 2009 with their revelation that all of Santa’s reindeer must be females. 

Edinburgh University professors Gerald Lincoln and David Baird said: “Of the 40 various species of deer on Earth, only female reindeer have antlers. The males of the species shed their headgear before mid-December. Hence, only female reindeer still have antlers at Christmas.” 

In a letter to the editor of The Beaver County (Pa.) Times, Ruth Barrett of New Brighton, Pa., declined to comment about how women follow directions better than men, but she did suggest: “Let’s rename ‘Rudolph’ to ‘Rudolphina.’ After all these trips around the world guiding Santa’s sleigh in all kinds of weather, and wearing that red nose that glows, she deserves it.”

 

Frosty gets his due as winter’s official snowman 

Frosty the Snowman came to life one day…70 years ago…in Armonk, N.Y., a small hamlet within the Town of New Castle in Westchester County. 

Ordinarily, citizens there gather for a “Frosty Day” festival and parade on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. This year, however, organizers reported that Frosty was “in COVID-19 quarantine,” so the event had to be canceled. Hopefully, he’ll be back again next year. 

“Frosty the Snowman” originated as a children’s song in 1950, written by Patty Fenwick’s step-grandfather, Jack Rollins, and his songwriting partner Steve Nelson. 

The Frosty festival website said Patty was just a young girl growing up in nearby White Plains, N.Y. “I was so excited to go out and play in the first snowfall. Grandpa Rollins wanted to go outside and play with me in the snow as well. I was so excited to build the first snowman of the year. The next day I woke up to find our snowman melted away. I was very upset,” Patty recalled. 

“Grandpa, being the ‘I can fix it’ grandpa, wanted to make me feel better. So, he said, ‘Please don’t cry. I promise you he will be back someday soon.’ I knew Grandpa Rollins always fixed things, so I immediately felt better.” 

Rollins relayed this story to Nelson, and they created the classic tune. Nelson lived in Armonk, and family members confirmed to the Friends of Frosty organization that the song “was conceived in beautiful Armonk,” and the traffic cop was patterned after John “Hergie” Hergenhan, the first Armonk police chief. 

Also in 1950, Frosty became a Little Golden Book written by Annie North Bedford and illustrated by Corinne Malvern.

 Frosty may have been kin to Snowy. The story “Snowy the Traveling Snowman” was released in 1944, written by Ruth Burman and illustrated by Elsa Garratt. It contains similarities to Frosty’s story. Snowy “bumpity-bumps” while Frosty “thumpity-thumps.” 

“Frosty” went on to enjoy an extensive acting career in film and television. He got married in “Frosty’s Winter Wonderland,” a 1976 animated Christmas TV special. The children of the village decide Frosty needs an adult companion, so they build a snowwoman, who Frosty names Crystal. 

She comes to life when Frosty presents her with a bouquet of snow flowers, a gift of love. A snow parson is found in town who pronounces Frosty and Crystal as husband and wife. 

Later on, the children come along – twins. Milly is a snowgirl and Chilly is a snowboy.

As a family man, Frosty is changing his image, according to humorist Paul Aldridge, who has tweaked the song’s lyrics. 

Hence, “Frosty the Snowperson has gone eco-friendly green, so his eyes of coal have been replaced by light bulbs that burn clean. He’s thrown away his corncob pipe, he will not smoke or chew. He drives a Prius hybrid car, recycles and reuses-es-es. He’s trying hard not to leave a carbon footprint when he goes thumpity-thump-thump.”

 

Winter comes in with a roar

Blasts of winter weather should arrive right on schedule this year in the Banner Elk community in the North Carolina mountains. The first four weeks of winter are expected to feature colder than normal temperatures and snow.

 That is the official prediction from the 2020 woolly worm resident weather forecaster. The woolly worm is the larva of the Isabella tiger moth. Its range includes almost all of the United States. 

Therefore, the woolly worm caterpillar’s magical powers extend into coastal North Carolina as well. Surely, mountain temperatures may differ somewhat from the coastal region, but Carteret County falls “under the same magical spell.” 

So, bundle up for some cold winters’ nights coming our way beginning in late December. 

The annual Woolly Worm Festival – a social highlight of the year in Banner Elk – normally held on the third weekend of October, had to be cancelled in 2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Undaunted by adversity, the festival sponsors declared the “race must go on,” in order to preserve a 43-year tradition. 

According to custom, the “speediest woolly worm” earns the honor of being the upcoming winter season’s “chief pseudo-meteorolgist.” 

Although not everyone recognizes the woolly worm as an accredited weather forecaster, the festival sponsors proclaim an 80-87% accuracy rate. 

The 2020 race was extremely scaled back for safety reasons with just two competing woolly worms, instead of a few thousand. 

With just a few socially distanced spectators looking on, “Chamber Charger,” representing the Avery County Chamber of Commerce, took on “Kiwanis Kicker” from the Kiwanis Club of Banner Elk. 

Charger won by a length (about a single bushy eyebrow). Charger was trained and groomed by Hallie Tucker Willis of Mountain Community Bank in Sugar Mountain. She is the current chair of the Avery chamber. 

Local celebrity Tommy Burleson, the “official woolly worm interpreter,” has the ability to decode the 13 bands or segments of the woolly worm’s body that correspond to the 13 weeks of winter.

 

In general, black bands mean “cold and snowy” and rusty-brown bands mean “mild without snow.” 

Burleson’s interpretation of Charger’s bands was influenced by unusual “fleckings” of both black and rusty-brown that appear in Charger’s mid-section. Here it is – Charger’s winter forecast: 

Weeks 1-4: Cold and heavy snow.

Weeks 5-7: Mild and light snow.

Week 8: Cold and light snow.

Weeks 9-10: Mild and light snow.

Week 11: Cold and light snow.

Weeks 12-13: Cold and heavy snow. 

During autumn, thousands of woolly worms can be observed scurrying about on the ground, feeling their way in search of sheltered areas to hunker down for winter – under logs, boulders or structures. 

Entomologists say the woolly worm “creates a natural organic antifreeze (cryoprotectant) that insulates its interior cells, so it can survive harsh and frigid winters.” 

In May, the insect will emerge from its cocoon, transformed into a colorful Isabella tiger moth, somewhat yellowish, orange and tan with black accent markings. 

There’s a technique to “handling winning woolly worms.” Some of the best racers through the years have been “Wild Worm Will,” “Woolly Nelson,” “Woolly Wonka,” “Twinkle Toes” and “Dale Wormhardt.” 

The next Woolly Worm Festival is set for Oct. 16-17, 2021. The official black and rusty brown woolly worm mascot, “Merryweather,” wants to give you a soft hug. 

‘Will the real Fraser fir please stand up?’

Christmas tree buyers should be mindful this year of the phrase “let the buyer beware.” It’s sometimes written in Latin as caveat emptor.

Don’t be fooled by roadside tree lots that advertise genuine “Frasier or Frazier firs.” They are likely to be imposters. The real McCoy is correctly spelled “Fraser fir.” And it smells “like Christmas."

Charlie Brown's famous Christmas tree

Fraser firs are “perfectly pyramid-shaped” Christmas trees that are grown almost exclusively in the North Carolina mountains. They are named for John Fraser, a botanist from northern Scotland. He studied the flora of the Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina in the late 1700s. 

The Fraser fir is North Carolina’s “official state Christmas tree.” The legislative bill, which passed in 2005, was the brainchild of eighth graders in Chris Hollifield’s history class at Harris Middle School in Spruce Pine, N.C. 

North Carolina Fraser firs have been crowned as the official White House holiday tree 12 times since 1971 (when somebody started keeping score). No other state is even close.

Almost every U.S. president from Richard Nixon through Donald Trump has strung the lights on a Fraser fir. (The only exceptions have been Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter.) George W. Bush had the most North Carolina-grown trees in the White House – three during eight years.

The National Christmas Tree Association (NCTA) relies heavily on research from the faculty at North Carolina State University’s forestry department. 

The Fraser fir grows naturally only in the southern Appalachians, at an elevation above 3,000 feet. The cool temperatures and lots of rainfall in North Carolina’s “high country” counties ensure that Fraser firs retain their needles throughout the Christmas season – about six weeks after cutting.

In many respects, Fraser firs and balsam firs are quite similar. Some scientists even suggest that because of the many similarities, the two species were once a single species that originated in Canada and the northern United States. 

Between the natural ranges of balsam firs and Fraser firs, there is an “intermediate” variety of fir trees that thrives in the Canaan Valley along the Blackwater River in West Virginia. Scientists suggest the Canaan fir is the link between balsams and Frasers, “a remnant of a once continuous range.” 

Fraser firs are recognizable by their needles, which are dark blue-green on top and silvery underneath. 

The Fraser fir is a favorite of Jennifer Noonan, a writer and social media producer at BobVila.com. “The sturdy branches support heavier ornaments…and offer room enough between branches to hang bigger bulbs in the first place,” she said. “The needles are about 1-inch long, and are softer than many other evergreens.” 

It takes 10 or so years in the field for a Fraser fir to grow 7 feet tall. Most tree farms will provide customers with measuring poles. You don’t need a pole at the Burleson family tree farm in Avery County. Just take Tommy Burleson with you down the rows. 

The 7-foot-2 tree farmer is the same fellow who played basketball at N.C. State under coach Norm Sloan from 1971-74 and teamed with David Thompson, Monte Towe, Tim Stoddard, Moe Rivers, Phil Spence and gang to win the NCAA championship in 1974, which was played in Greensboro.

Burleson has served for many years as Avery County’s planning director and also holds the distinction of being the “official woolly worm interpreter.” In this capacity, “he reads the bands on the woolly worm’s body to reveal the winter weather forecast. (That’s a story for another day.)

Take pride in Carolina’s mountain heritage

North Carolina ranks second in the nation for growing Christmas trees, trailing only Oregon. But the “Perfect Christmas Tree” grows only in North Carolina – in and around Spruce Pine in Mitchell County. 

The town of about 2,100 people is determined to keep alive the memory of one of its local celebrities – the late Dr. Gloria Houston, who in 1988 wrote the classic children’s Christmas story, “The Year of the Perfect Christmas Tree.” 

The story takes place during World War I. Gloria Houston’s lead character is a young girl named “Ruthie,” who is growing up in the fictional community of “Pine Grove,” in the North Carolina mountains.

 

Ruthie and Papa venture off in the spring of 1918 to choose a Christmas tree for the local church – a balsam fir “that grows up high, near to heaven.” They found the ideal tree “on the edge of a high cliff on Grandfather Mountain.” 

They tied a red ribbon, taken from Ruthie’s hair, around the very “tip-tip-top” of that balsam fir, so they could find their perfect tree when they returned in December to harvest it. 

Papa was called to go off to war as a soldier that summer. Ruthie and her mother were left to tend the farm. After the Armistice was signed on Nov. 11, 1918, the soldiers began returning home. 

Ruthie and her mother would go to the Tweetsie Railroad train station at Pineola every day, anticipating Papa’s return…but the calendar flipped to Christmas Eve, and still no Papa. 

It was up to Ruthie and her mother to trudge through the snow under a full moon to cut down the tree with the red ribbon at the “tip-tip-top” and drag it back to the village, aided by their trusty horse, “Old Piedy.” 

Papa arrived on Christmas Day, just in time to see Ruthie as the angel in the Christmas play at church. 

It’s not a sad story, but it moves adults to tears. Pam Kelley, an author and journalist from Charlotte, says she mentioned her sobbing to Gloria Houston.

 Gloria Houston with her granddaughters

“She wasn’t surprised,” Kelley wrote. “The story never makes children cry,” Houston said. “They’re not sentimental. But adults – that’s another story.” 

Gloria Houston’s mother, Ruth Etta Greene Houston, was the inspiration for young Ruthie in the book. 

Ruth was the proprietor of Sunny Brook Store in Kalmia, a small community about five miles down the road from Spruce Pine. Ruth died in 2014, at age 99. She was a natural storyteller who for years and years entertained schoolchildren who visited the store to hear the stories of mountain life that inspired her daughter’s books. 

Kelley interviewed David Singleton, the executive director of the public library system in Savannah, Ga. He grew up in northwestern North Carolina and appreciates “how Houston’s stories break stereotypes of mountain people.” 

“When ‘The Year of the Perfect Christmas Tree, came out,” Singleton said, “there weren’t a lot of books that portrayed rural mountain people with the dignity and intelligence that she did.” 

Kelley added: “I loved Houston’s knack for capturing the cadence, culture and humor of Appalachia.”

“The Year of the Perfect Christmas Tree” begins: “It was getting toward Christmas in the valley of Pine Grove. The wise folk said the old woman in the sky was picking her geese, for the Appalachian Mountains lay blanketed with snow.” 

Gloria Houston died in 2016, at age 75, after a long battle with cancer. Her spirit remains embodied in the people of Spruce Pine.

Milking is a sticking point in ‘12 Days of Christmas’

“The Farm Girl” in the oil painting by Frenchman Alfred Roll has a name. She is Manda Lamétrie, born in 1867. Manda was scarcely 20 when Roll painted her portrait in 1887. 

She ran a farm where she raised a horse and three cows near Sainte-Marguerite-sur-Mer, on the Normandy coast. This painting is one of Roll’s most important works, according to the curator at the Musée d’Orsay, the famous art museum in Paris, France. 

“Roll has put one of the cows, after milking, in the green orchard bordered by a hedge that forms the background of this painting.” 

“Manda forms a monumental figure in the center of the painting attracting the eye with her light-colored clothing, particularly the large, pale yellow rectangle of her apron. Her determined expression is no less striking,” the museum spokesperson said.

 “She supplemented her income with shrimp fishing on the coast and keeping an eye on holiday houses, including Castel d’Ailly, which was Roll’s summer home.” 

A reproduction of the striking painting might be an acceptable substitution for the eight maids-a-milking in the holiday song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” “The Farm Girl is available online through an art gallery in Sofia, Bulgaria. The art is 35.8 inches tall by 26 inches wide. The price tag is $567. 

April Lee, a contributor to Mother Earth News, has delved into one of the profound issues of our time: “Do cows like being milked?”

“The dairy industry is finding itself under scrutiny,” Lee said. “Animal advocates are asking: Is being milked a pleasant experience for dairy cows?” 

“Cows that have udders full of milk will willingly stand to be milked. The process of milking a cow is almost the same as if a calf were suckling,” Lee said. She is persuaded to conclude: “Yes, cows do enjoy being milked…if dairy farms are managed properly by trained and compassionate human beings,” Lee wrote.

“Small farms with a few cows can hand milk their cattle daily instead of relying on a machine,” Lee said. “If a dairy farm has a large herd of cattle to milk, then milking machines are far more efficient and cost-effective than hiring dozens of workers to milk the cows by hand.”

Dairy cows need to be milked on a regular schedule to relieve discomfort from the pressure of full udders, typically twice a day, 12 hours apart. They clearly do not like not being milked. 

The late Jerry Schleicher, the cowboy poet, once wrote: “Most cows are better behaved than a room full of first graders. Not only do they solemnly walk single file behind the herd boss to the feed bunk, they know their place in line. Every dairy cow in the country knows if she’s the third, 10th or 20th cow to be milked.” 

Steve Judge, a micro dairy expert in Royalton, Vt., said his most valuable commodity is time. His cows average around 2 1/2 gallons per milking. “Getting that much milk out of a cow by hand takes time, maybe a 1/2-hour per cow or more and that whole time you are stuck under the cow and can’t do anything else.” 

“If you milk your cows with a good machine milker, it takes about 5 to 10 minutes per cow,” Judge said. “And while your cow is milking, you can do other chores. Multi-tasking is essential on a small herd dairy. I need to get my chores done quickly so I can go to my day job.”

‘12 Days of Christmas’ slashes live performances in 2020

PNC Financial Services Group (PNC Bank) of Pittsburgh, Pa., has effectively lopped off the last four days of Christmas this year, scrubbing traditional performances by the dancing ladies, leaping lords, pipers and drummers. 

The bank’s customers may greet that decision with a “quadruple bah humbug,” but it’s probably in the best interest of public safety during the COVID-19 pandemic. 

PNC’s annual Christmas Price Index (CPI) forecasts how much it would cost to buy all the lavish gifts mentioned in “The Twelve Days of Christmas” song. 

This year, however, the PNC numbers get whacky, because live holiday performances are largely unavailable this year, reported Amanda Agati, PNC’s chief investment strategist. 

“It’s a silent night at most symphonies, and the lights have dimmed on many dance companies,” she said.

PNC said labor costs for the four live acts in 2019 totaled $23,273.96. Eliminating the expense of hiring 42 professional performers (9 ladies, 10 lords, 11 pipers and 12 drummers) in 2020 produces a huge reduction in the budget. 

The bank calculates the price tag for all the items needed to cover the first eight days of Christmas in 2020 is $16,168.10. This compares to $15,661.63 in 2019.

 

The big-ticket expense is for the seven swans. PNC says each swan carries a $1,875 price tag, so seven of those majestic birds will set you back $13,125. 

If we were to substitute seven large “Swimline white vinyl inflatable swan pool floats” that retail at $49.99 each at Ace Hardware, we could shell out a mere $349.93 for the swans and save a bundle. 

That would slash $12,775.07 off the cost of the “seventh day.” (Those jumbo swan floaties could be “re-gifted.”)

 

In 2020, the pear tree, five gold rings and all the other birds (one partridge, two turtle doves, three French hens, four turtle doves and six geese) can be purchased for $2,975.14, which is up only marginally from 2019. 

This brings us to the “eight maids-a-milking.” PNC continues to be a bit naïve about milking cows, and this may be the biggest flaw in the company’s index. 

PNC states that since the federal minimum wage rate in 2020 remained unchanged ($7.25 per hour), it would only have to pay the “milkpersons” for an hour’s worth of work at the minimum wage; a total of $58. This logic is ludicrous. Milking is not for unskilled laborers.

Milking requires special skills that are perfected only with lots of practice, and physical conditioning, according to Steve Judge, a micro dairy expert in Royalton, Vt. 

“Milking a cow by hand is not as easy as it may first appear, so it’s best to know what you are getting into before you take on this important farming task,” Judge said. 

“There are a couple of different grips you can use. The most important thing you can do when hand milking is to squeeze the milk out without pulling down excessively on the teat. It’s similar to getting tooth paste out of a tooth paste tube,” he said. 

“My wife’s great-great-grandmother was a milkmaid in Denmark. Stories of her having to take breaks between cows to rest her hands on the cool stone walls of the milking stable for relief have been passed down through our family for generations.” 

“When you first begin milking a cow by hand, you will find muscles in your hands and forearms that you seem to only use when you hand milk,” Judge said. “Until they get into shape, your arms will burn.”