U.S. Speaker poised to help kick off Christmas season

One of the key duties of the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives – now Rep. Mike Johnson of Louisiana – is to help illuminate the Capitol Christmas Tree on the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol to mark the beginning of the holiday season.

 

The Speaker is always accompanied by an elementary school student from the state that supplies the tree.

 

The winning tree is a 63-foot Norway spruce that is coming from Monongahela National Forest in the Allegheny Mountains of eastern West Virginia. 

The student selected to participate in the 2023 ceremony is Ethan Reese, a fourth grader from Beverly, W.Va., a small town near the forest. He won a statewide essay contest.

 

Ironically, Ethan’s great-great grandfather Arthur Wood was named superintendent of the Monongahela National Forest in 1931. “He set a plan in motion to plant millions of trees to rebuild the forest for future generations,” Ethan wrote. 

“Thanks to those efforts,” Ethan said, “I am lucky my generation knows the Mountain State as one covered in ‘Endless trees and Wonderful wildflowers, and home to many Wild animals.’” (Ethan’s capitalization connects to the essay contest theme, “Endlessly Wild & Wonderful.”) 

The tree lighting ceremony will be conducted at 5 p.m. on a date to be determined after Thanksgiving. 

The tradition of placing a Christmas tree (known fondly as “The People’s Tree”) outdoors on the Capitol lawn began in 1964, when Rep. John W. McCormack of Massachusetts was Speaker.

 

Beginning in 1970, the U.S. Forest Service, an agency within the Department of Agriculture, took on the responsibility of selecting a tree from one of the country’s 154 national forests. 

With this year’s selection, three of the winning trees were grown in the Monongahela National Forest – including a 40-foot Norway spruce in 1970 and a 41-foot red spruce in 1976. 

Pisgah National Forest in the Appalachian Mountains of western North Carolina also has produced three winning trees. They were a 41-foot Fraser fir in 1974, a 50-foot Fraser fir in 1998 and a 78-foot red spruce in 2022 that was named “Ruby.” 

Ruby was regarded much like a rock star last year by the news media. Harvested in Haywood County at age 75, “Ruby towered above her neighbors” in the Pisgah National Forest, reported Martha Quillin of The (Raleigh) News & Observer

 

She was “ceremoniously severed” as film crews rolled their cameras. Quillen reported: “Climbers had attached lines from a crane near the top of the tree, so that when the blade cut through the last splinters of Ruby’s trunk, the spruce jumped several feet into the air and dangled like one of the thousands of handmade ornaments with which she will later be adorned.” 

“‘We have liftoff,’ the Forest Service camera operator said as the cut was complete and the tree swung free. Crews whooped as if Santa’s sleigh itself had left the ground.” 

Quillen reminded her readers: “In North Carolina, the nation’s second-largest producer of Christmas trees, the beginning of the annual harvest season is as welcome as a visit from ol’ Santa.” 

Enroute to Washington, D.C., a two-week “mountains to the sea” trek across North Carolina took Ruby to 14 communities, including three in eastern North Carolina – Kinston, New Bern and Manteo. 

Ruby was special and a member of a dwindling forest species. Her cones were collected to grow red spruce seedlings, as part of a major reforestation project being conducted by scientists at Southern Highlands Reserve near Lake Toxaway in Transylvania County, N.C. 

We’ll look in on their work soon.

‘The Friendly Beasts’ Christmas tune debuted in 1926

Highly acclaimed American sacred music composers Helen and Clarence Dickinson introduced their countrymen to a unique Christmas song in 1926. “The Friendly Beasts” was one of the tunes included in a musical production that premiered during the 1926 Christmas season.

 

The Dickinsons co-wrote “The Coming of the Prince of Peace: A Nativity Play with Ancient Christmas Carols” along with William Sloane Coffin for H.W. Gray of New York City, a publishing company that specializes in liturgical, school and community music. 

“The Friendly Beasts” song was based on a translation of the lyrics of an old European Christmas song. The translator was a relatively unknown poet named Robert Davis. 

His words have been preserved and memorialized in song by vocalists ranging from Peter, Paul and Mary to the Cedarmont Kids. Their performances are archived online.

 

The tune begins: 

Jesus our brother kind and good

Was humbly born in a stable rude

And the friendly beasts around him stood…

 Then, the focus turns to those animals…and their respective roles associated with the birthing of the child, with these abbreviated lyrics: 

“I” said the donkey shaggy and brown

I carried His mother up hill and down

I carried her safely to Bethlehem town….

 

“I” said the cow all white and red

I gave Him my manger for a bed

I gave Him my hay to pillow His head….

 

“I” said the sheep with a curly horn

I gave Him my wool for His blanket warm

He wore my coat on that Christmas morn….

 

“I” said the dove from the rafters high

Cooed Him to sleep that He should not cry

We cooed Him to sleep my love and I….

 

“I” said the camel all yellow and black

Over the desert upon my back

I brought Him a gift in the wise men’s pack.

 

The short song ends with the summary: 

Thus every beast remembering it well

In the stable dark was so proud to tell

Of the gifts that they gave Emmanuel.

The Dickinsons wrote hundreds of chorales and anthems for church choirs during their musical careers. 

Helen Adell Snyder Dickinson was educated at Queens University in Kingston, Ontario, Canada. She earned her doctorate degree from Heidelberg University in Germany in an era (circa 1910) “when women were not generally welcomed in graduate philosophy classes” at Heidelberg. 

She was a well-known and frequent lecturer at Union Seminary in New York City. Her husband, Clarence Dickinson, performed as the organist at New York City’s Brick Presbyterian Church for half a century.

Hail Rev. John Neale for his ‘Carols for Christmastide’

Historians affiliated with Oldest.org in Los Angeles, Calif., have identified a “great eight” list of the oldest Christmas songs.

Half of them can be traced to an Anglican priest born in London, England – the Rev. John Mason Neale. Many of his works as a hymnodist were published in 1853 as “Neale’s Carols for Christmastide.” A brilliant and humble man, Rev. Neale was “best known for research and translations of ancient Greek and Latin religious texts; he was proficient in 21 different languages,” wrote Ron Clancy of Christmas Classics Ltd. in Cape May, N.J. 

 “The contributions of Rev. Neale to the revitalization of ancient and medieval church hymns and his deft translations of them cannot be underestimated,” Clancy said. 

Rev. Neale was associated with important seasonal hymns such as “Good King Wenceslas,” “Christ Was Born on Christmas Day,” “Good Christian Men, Rejoice” and “Of the Father’s Love Begotten.” All four are cited by Oldest.org as being among the “8 Oldest Christmas Songs in the World.”

 

Perhaps Rev. Neale’s most sacred carol, though, was “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel,” which he translated from Latin in 1851,” Clancy added.

 

The late Stephen Hutcheson, creator of the Eclectic Ethereal Encyclopedia, said: “As a translator of ancient Latin and Greek hymns, John Mason Neale has not an equal; he was a most voluminous writer on an infinite variety of other subjects as well. His linguistic powers were enormous.” 

Incredibly, one-eighth of the hymns in Church of England’s traditional hymnal were written by Rev. Neale, either as originals or as translations. 

John Mason Neale became an ordained priest in 1842, but due to ill health caused by consumption (tuberculosis), he was relegated to duties as the warden of Sackville College in East Grinstead, West Sussex County, England. The facility was an almshouse, a charitable residence for 30 poor and aged occupants.

 

Rev. Neale and his wife, Sarah, had five children. Rev. Neale died at Sackville in 1866, at age 48. 

Michelle Darrisaw, a contributor to Southern Living magazine, commented that Rev. Neale indeed upheld the principles expressed by “Good King Wenceslas,” who showed considerable compassion for the poor and the sick.

“Neale was looking for a good role model for children. He found him in King Wenceslas of Bohemia,” she wrote. 

“Rev. Neale led an exemplary life…caring for the lowliest on society’s scale, and his Christian deeds set him apart from other Anglican clerics holding more lofty positions.” 

Here’s a quick mention of the other four ancient Christmas songs selected by Oldest.org. 

“Jesus, Light of All the Nations” is generally regarded as the first Christmas song, written in the 4th century by Saint Hilary of Poitiers in France.

 

“The Friendly Beasts” is a French song from the 12th century. Translated into English in 1920, this song is still regularly sung today, often by children’s choirs. The nativity scene animals (a donkey, cow, sheep, dove and camel) describe their roles in the event.

 

“Between the Ox and the Grey Donkey” is yet another song from France that surfaced in the 13th century. It describes the nativity scene from the perspective of two large animals that were there. 

“O Come, All Ye Faithful” (originally “Adeste Fideles”) also is from the 13th century. Although its origin is disputed, the most popular translation of the song was published in 1841 by Frederick Oakeley, an English Catholic priest.

 

Maddy Shaw Roberts, an editor as Classic FM in London, says: “The rousing melody of ‘O Come, All Ye Faithful’ is a guaranteed barnstormer with which all Christmas carol services should end.” Amen.

‘Redneck 12 Days of Christmas’ alters the gift-giving song

You might be a redneck if you’ve memorized the lyrics of comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s 1996 parody of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

 Foxworthy’s recording, titled the “Redneck 12 Days of Christmas,” climbed to number 18 on the Billboard Hot Country Singles & Tracks chart in 1996, an extraordinary accomplishment for a novelty, seasonal release.

 

The record wasn’t that good musically, but it was laughable. Foxworthy’s humorous shopping list of 12 redneck Christmas gifts is vastly different from the items mentioned in the traditional version of the old English carol, which was popularized in 1909 by British composer Frederic William Austin.

 

Here’s the countdown from Foxworthy’s recording: 

Twelve-pack of Bud(weiser)

‘Leven wrasslin’ tickets

Tin a Copenhagen

Nine years’ probation

Eight table dancers

Seven packs of Redman

Six cans of Spam

Five flannel shirts

Four big mud tires

Three shotgun shells

Two huntin’ dogs

And some parts to a Mustang GT

It’s next to impossible to accurately calculate how much all these items would cost the gift giver. If “nine years’ probation” is meant to be a “get out of jail free” card, the value is priceless. And just how would one go about making those “arrangements?”

On sale, you can find a 12-pack of Budweiser beer for $9.98. Good seats at a WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) professional wrestling event could cost $78 apiece, so 11 tickets would run $858.

 

A tin of Copenhagen chewing tobacco costs about $6.55, but Redman chewing tobacco is no longer in production. In January 2022, all Redman products were rebranded as “America’s Best Chew” to provide “greater alignment with company values.” (America’s Best Chew had been the product’s tagline for decades.)

A pouch of America’s Best Chew retails for $12, so the cost for seven pouches is $84. (Kick the tobacco habit and save $90.55.) 

It would also be appropriate here to insert a team of eight country music line dancers to replace the exotic dancers in Foxworthy’s version…and get him off Santa’s “naughty list.” 

Perhaps we can recruit line dancers from a local senior center in Morehead City to put on a free show. 

Further editing of the Foxworthy lyrics would replace three shotgun shells with three seashells (because I know absolutely nothing about firearms and ammunition). 

Seashells are plentiful here along coastal shorelines wagand free. Just bend over and pick them up. 

Six cans of Spam and five flannel shirts are easy to find. Spam retails for $3.58 per can, so snag a six-pack of Spam for $21.46. Budget $19.99 for each flannel shirt. The tab for five shirts is $99.95.

 

The price of four big mud tires for your truck can vary widely, but we found a sale at one local tire store – listing at $201.67 per tire. So, the tally for four tires is $806.68. 

Finding two top-notch hunting dogs is quite another matter. A pair of pedigree pups might run as much as $4,000.

 

“Parts for a Mustang GT” is an open book. The exact number of parts and their complexity is not addressed in the song. (Foxworthy, along with his buds, may have consumed a bunch of the Buds by the time he finished the song.)

 

Suppose we bundle some spark plugs, splash guards and front and rear brake pads specifically designed for a Mustang GT? One source says the cost for those car parts would be $220.95. 

Ready to check out? Grab a calculator and start crunching the numbers. The “tobacco-free” redneck Christmas gifts included here add up to $6,017.02. 

Jeff Foxworthy is a generous man.

12 redneck Christmas gifts list proves to be a ‘bargain’

 Are you curious about how the redneck bottom line compares to the costs of items in the traditional Christmas carol version? 

Fortunately, we have a good source for the cost of those traditional gifts…ranging from a partridge in a pear tree to the 12 drummers, thanks to a whimsical Christmas Price Index, compiled annually by The PNC Financial Services Group, Inc. 

PNC’s 2023 index hasn’t been released yet, but last year it computed that the total cost to buy all the traditional stuff was $45,523.27.

As you might expect, five flannel shirts aren’t in the same league as five gold rings ($1,245). 

Curiously, most of the birds in the early part of the song – a partridge in a pear tree, two turtle doves, three French hens, four calling birds and six geese – are reasonably priced. Their combined price tag is $2,518.89.

 

The kicker occurs when we get to the seven swans. PNC says their market value is a jaw-dropping $13,124.93.

 

The rest of the original song is “labor-intensive,” requiring some high-priced talent – a demonstration by eight milkmaids and performances by nine dancing ladies, 10 leaping lords, 11 pipers and 12 drummers. Their fees total $28,634.45. 

The lords are the most expensive of the lot – costing a whopping $13,980. This is due to the fact that lords are not indigenous to the United States. These blokes have to be imported from “across the pond.”

 

As a public service, Foxworthy offers the lords a quick tutorial about how to detect rednecks. 

Rednecks are not good spellers of yooltide messages in Christmas light displays.

 

Rednecks believe the perfect treat to leave for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve “is a cold beer and pickled eggs.”

Rednecks buy their wives Christmas gifts like “earrings that double as fishing lures.”

Surely, Santa Claus is coming to your town!

Several literary sources have compiled listings of the “best Santa Claus quotations” of all-time. A frequently mentioned author is Maud McKnight Lindsay of Tuscumbia, Ala., who was a kindergarten teacher and author of scores of children’s stories.

 

“All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes,” she wrote in “Santa Claus: A Wonder Story for Little Children,” which was published in 1913.

 

To gain a sense of Lindsay’s style, read the end of that story: “Trit-trot, go the little deer, tink, tinkle, ring the bells, O-o-o-o, sing the winds, twinkle, twinkle, shine the stars, and ha! ha! laughs Santa Claus, as he rides over the world to fill the children’s stockings, and to bring beautiful gifts.” 

One other quotation that the collectors often attribute to Lindsay is in verse form: “You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town.” The lack of punctuation and sporadic capitalization are curious, and I’ve been unable to uncover a citation for the work. 

The same words appear in the lyrics of “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town,” which were penned in 1932 by Haven Gillespie, who collaborated with songwriter J. Fred Coots. The tune begins: “…You better watch out / You better not cry / You better not pout / I’m telling you why / Santa Claus is comin’ to town.”

Haven Gillespie

 

J. Fred Coots

Gillespie had dropped out of high school at age 16 to work in the printing trade, starting as a newspaper typesetter in Cincinnati, Ohio. In his early 20s, he moved to New York City and became a journalist. 

From there, he started writing lyrics for vaudeville acts. His publisher, Leo Feist, urged him to write a children’s Christmas song “because Gillespie had a good vocabulary for children’s songs.” (“Was that a compliment?” Gillespie always wondered.) 

Regardless, 15 minutes later, while riding on a New York City subway train, Gillespie had finished the lyrics to “Santa.” 

Did he beg, borrow or steal words from the mouth of Maud Lindsay? She was still living and actively writing when the song debuted in 1934, performed by Eddie Cantor on his national radio show. 

No one ever fussed or complained, so perhaps the “quote masters” are mixed up about the origin of “You better watch out….” 

In Brooklyn, N.Y., Nicholas A. Ferrell, creator of The New Leaf Journal, has studied Maud Lindsay’s body of work. He recently analyzed her “Santa Claus Wonder Story,” which is now 110 years old. Ferrell urged his readers to delight in her writing and grasp the imagery of the author’s description of the Santa character. 

His online posting “An Inquiry into the Nature of Santa Claus,” is dated May 25, 2023. Here’s a glimpse at the picture Lindsay painted: 

“Santa Claus dresses in fur from his head to his heels. His leggings are fur, his coat is fur, and he wears a fur cap pulled down over his ears, for the winds of the winter are icy cold.”

 

“Santa Claus’s beard is as white as the snow, and his cheeks are as red as apples, and his eyes are as bright as the twinkling stars that look from the sky to see him ride.”

 

“Santa Claus is old, old as the hills, but he is strong as a giant, and on his back he carries a pack, and the pack is full of toys. He has dolls and drums, and balls and tops, wagons and sleds, tea sets with blue roses painted on them…and all of them are for little children.”