Milkmaids complicate the cost of ‘12 Days of Christmas’

Egads. The “eighth day of Christmas” continues to be the most troublesome. 

With all due respect to the financial gurus at PNC Financial Services Group (PNC Bank) of Pittsburgh, Pa., they’re a bit foggy about the value of “eight maids a-milking” in “The Twelve Days of Christmas” holiday song.

As a playful gesture of holiday fun each year, PNC calculates how much it will cost for someone to purchase all the gifts referenced in the song, ranging from a partridge in a pear tree to 12 drummers drumming. 

In 2021, the total price tag adds up to $41,206, a 5.7% increase from 2019. (2020 was affected by COVID-19, and all the “live acts” – performances by the drummers, pipers, lords and ladies – were cancelled.) 

On the eighth day, PNC naively reports: “There has been no change to the Federal Minimum Wage ($7.25), and therefore, no change to the price for the eight milkmaids. They’ll still cost $58 in 2021.”

 

Are you kidding me? Hand-milking is almost a lost art. PNC has “zero chance” of finding eight competent milking persons who are willing to work…even for just a single hour…at minimum wage. 

What, for goodness Pete, are the PNC suits thinking? PNC is the nation’s seventh largest bank, for heaven’s sake. 

The dairy industry ain’t what it used to be.

 

Pamela Horn, an esteemed British social historian, said: “A diary maid in the 17th century would have responsibility for up to 20 cows. Therefore, to require eight milkmaids, a farmer would have owned a herd of 160 or so cattle.” 

“Dairy maid responsibility included butter and cheese making as well as the milking, and if it was the farmer’s wife, she also looked after the hens, baked and did all those other things required of a pre-industrial housewife.” 

Julia Bayly of Hello Homestead magazine, based in Bangor, Maine, added: “Getting milk from a dairy cow by hand is a labor-intensive process that can take up to 30 minutes per cow.” 

“So, it’s understandable that when the first automated milking machines appeared in the late 1800s, as soon as they could afford one, farmers and dairymen were automating their milking operations to speed up the process,” Bayly wrote. 

“Today’s machines can milk 100 cows in an hour, so, not a lot of people are milking cows by hand these days.” 

Furthermore, the PNC calculation of the cost of the milkmaids in the song fails to account for other costs associated with running a dairy.

 

Although the drummers and the pipers bring along their own instruments, it doesn’t work that way with the milkmaids. The cows also need food and require land to roam – up to five acres per cow. 

Jill Winger of The Prairie Homestead in rural Wyoming said her milk cows each eat 30-40 pounds of hay per day. She said she pays up to $200 per ton of hay. A cow costs up to $3,000, depending on the market price.

 

“Holsteins are the primary breed of cattle used by the commercial dairy industry,” Winger said. “However, while they produce a very large quantity, the milk may not be quite as nutritious as some of the other dairy breeds.” 

“I’m rather partial to Brown Swiss, one of the oldest dairy breeds, and they are known for being kind and gentle,” Winger said. 

“Many homesteaders favor the smaller Jersey, which produces an impressive quantity of rich milk for its smaller size. Other good home dairy options would be Guernseys or Dexters.”

 

Meet a contemporary American milkmaid named Tara

Tara Vander Dussen, a fifth-generation dairy farmer, has built quite a following through social media, where she is known as the “New Mexico Milkmaid.”

 

Born Tara Bonestroo, she left the family dairy farm in Portales, N.M., to earn a degree in environmental science at the University of Arizona in Tucson. After graduation, Tara returned to eastern New Mexico. 

Soon thereafter, she married Daniel Vander Dussen, also a fifth-generation dairy farmer, from nearby Clovis. 

He earned a degree in agricultural economics and agricultural business at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. 

Together, Tara and Daniel would bridge their family’s dairy farms. She tells her followers: 

“My friends would probably tell you that I am a dairy advocate, whiskey drinker, fast talker, lover of all things Southwest and avid boho braid enthusiast.” 

The Vander Dussens have two young daughters and are surrounded by plenty of relatives, on both sides, who are engaged in the respective dairy operations.

 

“Dairy farming is not just a job to us, it is a way of life,” Tara wrote. “We are ‘udderly in love with dairy.’ We put our hearts and souls into our cows and our land.” 

They have very big hearts. The Vander Dussens have one of the largest dairies in the entire southwestern United States – occupying more than 1,500 acres. 

On average, they milk 4,600 Holstein cows twice a day – producing an average of 330,000 gallons of milk a day. 

“Today, the ‘New Mexico Milkmaid’ embodies the spirit of family farming,” wrote Mélanie Berliet for the National Dairy Council. 

About 97% of dairy farms are family owned and operated, “and we’re no different,” Tara said.

 “Growing up on a farm instills a solid work ethic in you,” she said. “I learned important lessons about caring for animals and the land around you.”

 In addition to water conservation measures, “cow care” is of the utmost importance on a dairy farm, Berliet reported.

 “When cows are comfortable and well taken care of, their milk is of higher quality,” Tara said. “I think people would be surprised to learn how much detail goes into cow care.”

“You want the barn to be quiet, comfortable and welcoming. Bedding and shading are crucial because cows are creatures of habit, and they appreciate a safe, carefully curated environment.”

Berliet wrote: “When discussing the future of her own dairy farm and the industry in general, Tara cites a favorite old saying: ‘Live as if you’ll die today, but farm as if you’ll live forever.’ As a farmer, Tara is always thinking about passing things onto the next generation.”

“She also believes in the importance of being more vocal as a contemporary farmer. Since most people are removed from the realities of agriculture, she thinks it’s critical for farmers to help people understand where their food comes from,” Berliet said.

“Tara sees the digital landscape as an extension of her real-life dairy community…and an opportunity for her to reach people and spread accurate, helpful information about dairy farming,” Berliet concluded.