Our ‘favorite things’ when the bones creak…

Since at least 2002, senior living Christmas caroling has included the song “My Favorite Things” with some twisted lyrics. We are still searching for the person responsible, but one popular rendition uses these lyrics:

             

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favourite things.

 

Cadillacs and cataracts…hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favourite things.

 

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favourite things,

And then I don’t feel so bad.

 

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favourite things.

 

Back pains, confused brains and no fear of sinnin’,

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,

And we won’t mention our short, shrunken frames,

When we remember our favourite things.

 

When the joints ache, When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I’ve had,

And then I don’t feel so bad.